Honesty is a part of authenticity, but in its brutal
form - just a passive aggression toward someone. It may be just a defensive
mechanism or more likely an excuse to execute a personal attack.
We often are in love with brutality, because it
defends us from harm. When you act aggressively you feel safer, because it
gives you the false sense of security. You need to think about why you are
acting like this. Is it because you are afraid of somebody, or just because it
is a part from your personality ?
Also you need to think about why you tell people what “the
right thing to do” is. Because you think it is and your ego wants to convince
people, or just because it really is. People are usually too attached to each
other, and most of the time don’t realize what they should and should not preach
in their desperate attempt to help. First you need to be fully aware of the
receptivity of the person you are talking to. Is he responding to your words
actively or just rolling his eyes. Do they really want your opinion? Do we
really want to help them, or just need to express ourselves.
- Is you
intention to help that person or yourself – are you going to benefit more from
telling them what you think.
- Is
brutal honesty really going to help in the current moment?
- If the
other person wants an advice, can you speak your thoughts without hurting them,
and using profanity?
In the game of delivering the message it all comes
down to how you do it. You have to be careful, because how it will come out
from a place of love and caring will be completely different coming out of a
place of hate and doubting. Be gentile and authentic with people, as you want
the same from them.
The line between authenticity and assholesness is
thin… It’s all about your intentions and how you show them to people with
words. So pick them right, and be polite. Even if the truth is brutal, you
don’t have to be, use kind words to describe what you mean, resulting in
not-extra hurting the person.
